A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell "All you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the last stop! All of you sons of bitches that are getting on, get your asses in the train cause were leaving". The mother went in and told her son, "we don't use that kind of language in this house." Now I want you to go into your room for two hours. When you come out, you can play with your train, but I don't want to hear any bad language.

Two hours later, the son comes out of his room and continues playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard the son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your ride was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. For those of you who are just boarding the train, we ask that you stow all of your hand luggage under the seat, remember there is no smoking except on the club car. We hope you have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today".

"For those of you who are pissed off with the two hour delay , please see the bitch in the kitchen."

the penguin joke

a vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona and sees that the car's oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor.He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping off the car, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat it with his little flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and ask's the mecanic if  hes found the problem. The mecanic looks up from the engine and says, "it looks like you've blown a seal". "No, no, no,!" the penguin replies, wiping his mouth, "its just ice cream!"

have been watching loads of new films recently... on dvd not at the cinema.

here's what i thought of them

 

the last horror movie - really good, scary, thought provoking definately watch this!

 

Alexander - rubbish- too long, crap acting just plain bad

 

Coach Carter - shit - overy sentimental, poor characters. sam jackson's worst film!

 

Sahara - watchable...just, read the book!

 

Constantine - Brilliant- now this is a movie worth the £4 at blockbuster!!! if you haven't seen it, get up now and get down the video shop... right now!!!

 

tonights offering is XXX 2, it's got ice cube and sam jackson... can't be that bad... can it??

let u know 2moro!

 

Watched a couple of new movies yesterday, the first was FANTASTIC FOUR. this is a great film easily my favourite of the movies of comic book characters, better even than spiderman. Effects are amazing and Jessica Alba just finishes it off nicely. this is certainly one I would pay money to watch at the cinema.

the second film i watched yesterday was WAR OF THE WORLDS. this unfortunately was the biggest let down EVER! just plain rubbish. if you have ever read the HG WELLS book then definately don't watch this film. it is spoilt by the amazing special effects and despite having Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning this fim left me cold. i won't go into great detail about what is wrong with the film just in case any of you want to watch it and decide for yourselves, if you do watch it please let me know what you think!

so there you have it... if you haven't seen fantastic four yet, then go to the cinema this weekend. If you are a big special effects fan then War of the worlds might be worth seeing but if you are a fan of the book then avoid this film like the plague.

don't hesitate to comment if you have seen either of these films as i would be glad to link to your review of share comments